Melancholy Lies
by Envious sky
Summary: When a friend dies, the only person that cares about you, how are you ever to survive?


**(18,532 words...Well it appears I've gone 8,532 words over than what was my intention, how wonderfully delightful) An idea came into my head during a phpt lesson, and I got bored and made it a fanfic so I could post it here. it's rather AU and rather long, but i've already said the length, so that part was already known.I haven't had a thing like this happen in my life, so some parts may not be perfect, but i'm fine if anyone wants to criticise that, it can help me make improvements. The only thing i've had a similar thing that has happened to me is bullying. And i decided to have some fun and add some insults that i've really got before, trust me words can't describe the stupidity of them, but I attempted none the less. This was written awhile ago, but editing was hell, and have shit as internet. but enough of this, enjoy my darling oneshot the people that decide to read this, because for my stories that's usually not many.**

**Disclaimer: Yes I do own ffvii yes indeed, no, I don't, I was lying. )=**

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><p><em><span>Melancholy lies<span>_

It started out like any other night; I was in my room, typing stories on my worn out computer that I knew was gonna fail on me any day now. My room looked like it had been hit with a bomb; my clothes lay scattered across the floor, on the bed, on my TV. My books were in the same condition, some on the bed, some in random places on my desk, close to falling off the edge. My Dad had told me a million times to clean it up, but I really couldn't be bothered, I didn't care, and I knew for sure he didn't either. He was just being a parent and saying all the usual stuff. My ears were becoming deaf to his words, those old dreary words.

My stupid mind, it didn't want to write my stories, wanted to write others, but I didn't want to write others, it needed to concentrate on what was right in front of it. Does that ever happen to other people? Their creativity wants to do other things, but they themselves don't. Conflicting thoughts are confusing, nobody else my age I know has these problems, but I'm not other people, am I?

I think it's actually a fact that stupid people deal with problems better, because they don't have the brains to over think the situation, they think up a simple way that doesn't exactly fix it, but they don't care. Smart people try to come up with a much better solution, because they have the ability to fix it completely, but trying to come up with one is so much more complicated; they will begin to confuse themselves, because they ended up making it so confusing that they made the problem worse.

It can be annoying to be smart. Nobody my age would suspect I'm smart; they take one look and think I'm a whore. It's thanks to a certain physical aspect of mine, and my clothes too. I won't lie that I dress similar to those popular bitches at my school and around the neighbourhood, but I'm nothing like them, I despise them and their disgusting ways.

Aerith knew that I wasn't like them, thank god for her; she was the only one beside the teachers that knew what I was really like. She had lots of other friends though, I barely know them, and I wouldn't be surprised if they hated me, just because they knew Aerith so well did not mean it would be the same with me. We may be best friends and all, but they refuse to believe it, they think she lies about me, saying I'm nice, I'm nothing more than a secluded, decently smart girl. They won't see the truth of her words, forever more will they be lies inside each one's shallow minds. Aerith is nice; she will say nice things about anyone, that's what they think. But all they are, are stupid mindless idiots that can go whither and die for all I care, why is Aerith friends with them anyway?

They don't deserve friendship with her kind; she's way too good for them.

Stupid mind wandered off, go back to story, but you don't want to, do you mind? You want to sleep now, no you aren't, it's six-thirty, no sleep for you idiot, no my mind is not an idiot; I'm much to smart to for it to be because my mind helps me be smart.

So what is it then? Strange? Demented? Something far from what is called normal? (which I have my doubts if that exists)

I had my head in my hands, I hadn't really noticed the passage of time, but I did notice my phone ringing, I didn't want it to pick up, tired, wanted to write, not talk. But it was Aerith calling, I have to, because it's her.

I picked it up on what I think was the 11 ring, Aerith always stays on for awhile cause she knows I will always pick up, I just don't answer as fast like 'normal people'

"Hello?"

"Oharo, my darling Tifa. Your doing just horrid I presume?"

Her usual, what she always said when I picked up, yes I was normally in a rather melancholy mood, she was one of the two who could take the time of day to notice such.

"Hello Aerie, yes I'm nice and distraught tonight, I've been having arguments with my own mind. So how are you faring?"

I heard her sigh, her reacting to my strangeness, but she was nice, so she didn't laugh. There was no joke in the matter, lucky me that someone had figured that one out.

"I'm wonderful and insane, I've been having arguments with Yuffie for the past two hours over silly matters, and I forgot how it started almost immediately. I'm coming over to your house; you have any problems with that?"

I wasn't sure if I did, but my mind forced me to ponder whether I did anyway.

"I'm tired"

I wasn't sure if I found the giggle afterwards annoying; I didn't like laughing all that much.

"Darling its six-thirty, you can't possibly be tired at this time of night?"

"Time is irrelevant, people can be tired whenever"

The line was silent for a short while, about ten seconds I think, not like I was counting.

"I'll see you in ten minutes, bye bye my darling Tifa"

With that she hanged up, so I put the phone back in its place. I decided that I would finish off my story before she got over and made my room into an even bigger mess.

Apparently I had won the battle I had had with my mind, because I could finally concentrate on this particular chapter.

Aerith was at my house by six-fifty, almost ten more minutes then what she had said she would be.

She barged into my room and caught me in a tight hug.

"Well hello my darling Tifa" she said in such a cheerful tone of voice.

With a hand I pushed her of me, I wasn't trying to be harsh or nothing, but I enjoy my own private space, and don't take well to it being invaded.

"It's called private space Aerie, p-r-i-v-a-t-e s-p-a-c-e." I explained,

She smiled at me, instead of saying sorry, but I knew that the smile itself was the sorry; it was her own special way of apologising.

"Darling I have a plan" she explained with her hands on her hips and strong stance filled with confidence.

I wasn't trusting on this, I had a basic idea of what would come out of her mouth next, I was going to say no, something that usually never appeared in conversations with her, but it would have to with this one. Her appearance itself was what gave it all away.

She had on her red strapless cocktail dress, a multitude of bangles, and her black high heels. Not to mention she had her hair out and styled into perfect brown waves, deep red lip stick, and makeup all around her beautiful shinning emerald eyes, that I had always been so envious of (brown was just too average, even if mine had a hint of red, kind of weird yes but they weren't such gems like hers)

"You're coming to a party with me"

No, I refuse, I hate them, I despise them, I loathe them. But Aerith won't take no, she's persistent; she will make me agree somehow, she can make anyone say yes, she's just like that.

"If I say no I'm going to be forced to anyway right?"

My answer invited her evil Aerith grin into play. I hate that grin; it created evil plans in the mind of anyone wearing it.

"Oh darling, if course I'm going to force you" the line spoken like she was a polite old lady, which was unfitting for what the sentence was meaning.

"Parties are a stupid excuse for a good time that does more bad than good."

"Come on Darling live a little" she scolded me, her mind was set on making me go; even the truth wouldn't deter the rail.

"What if something bad happens?" I questioned, it was a good point, too bad I was talking to Aerith.

"What is the chance of that happening?" she was sure that it would be fine, she always ended up alright, so she would think that way, like most teenagers, you do it perfect the first time so then by their logic it means it will have to be perfect the next. Such thinking must have caused many, many accidents.

"It's actually very likely that something will go wrong to a number of people at the party tonight, don't count yourself out"

I didn't receive a nice look for my comment.

"Stop being so negative Darling, it will be alright"

I was getting sick of this. I wanted to stop it, and sadly I knew what the only escape was, I would have to say yes to her, even if it was against every moral fibre in my body to go to those disgusting things.

"If I say yes will you shut up?"

She squealed, it hurt my ears.

"Thank you thank you thank you! Omigod we have to find something for you to wear! Come on darling!"

She pulled me out of my chair, my arm hurt some, but I failed to notice.

"Dang, this place is a pigsty, this is gonna be hard."

Aerith scoured about my room, looking for the outfit she deemed right. Anything could've done just fine, but she was picky, and to add to that most of the good things were trampled or covered with food.

After digging through the mess that was my room, she found what she liked.

I don't even remember seeing that dress before, think I got it for Christmas and just dumped it on the floor than everything piled up over it.

"Hey darling, this is just perfect isn't it? Try it on!"

She was giggling cheerfully; I took it from her than went into the bathroom so I had a mirror.

The white room wasn't very white anymore, more like, yellow. Dad needed to wash it or something. There was water on the ground that had been there since morning, so I couldn't dump my clothes onto the ground.

I rested the dress on the sink then got undressed. I adjusted my bra so it wasn't so loose, didn't want my boobs bouncing near a bunch of drunken guys, that wouldn't go all that swell.

I pulled the dress down, fixed it up so it was felt comfortable.

Why did I have this dress again? I forgot, stupid mind, you need to remember stuff, stop forgetting like a stupid person, we're not stupid we are quite smart thank you.

It was a black cocktail dress, a little too tight for it's own good, or maybe it was my body that was making it like that? I'll go for my body.

It had a flower on the strap (it only had one), which I presume is a rose, and frills decorating the bottom.

It was rather pretty to be honest, don't know why I haven't worn it before?

Oh right, my room's are battlefield.

I walked back into my bedroom to the waiting Aerith, spinning on my computer chair, which made the half eaten cookies and a book fall off.

"Umm" I wasn't sure what to say.

"Oh Darling, you look beautiful!" she clapped her hands together, I believe she was about to hug me as well but she didn't, remembering that I like my personal space I would think.

"Well all good, I have to go pick up the other girls, let's go Tifa my darling"

Getting up she grabbed my hand and skipped out of the room, pulling me with her, as I was attempting to go at a slower pace.

We got into the car, her in the drivers seat and me in the passengers.

...

Her friends were waiting back at her house; I stayed in the car while she went to get them.

Her house was loud, I didn't want loud, I didn't really want any of this right now, if only I could say no to Aerith, but how could I? How could anyone say no to her? She was so nice. Why did she like parties? She wasn't like those things that go to them, I hate them, they're rodents, dirty little rodents, I could never see them as people; we were so different, we couldn't be the same, it was disgusting to think about it.

My lovely dark silence was interrupted when Aerith returned with her friends; they crowded into the back seat; Yuffie, Elena, Cissnei, that's what their names were, but I didn't know much else about them. Yuffie openly complained that I was there, I was a stupid slut in her opinion, poor Aerith had to calm her down, telling her that that was a great misjudgement, I was nice. She didn't believe a word; Aerith was nice; she would say good things about even the baddest of people. Elena grumbled, for the same reasons Yuffie was complaining, even an idiot could figure that out. Cissnei was silent, I wasn't even worth her time; she must have thought she had already figured me all out, just like every damn person believed they had, what delusions the morons.

The car was so loud, Aerith was laughing, Yuffie complaining about everything, Elena saying stupid things, Cissnei said something every now and then, but only to Elena, she wasn't talking to the other two, but I wasn't going to bother to find out why, if I'm not worth Cissnei's time she's not worth mine.

I was silent the entire time, didn't want to talk, the others would tell me to shut up if I did anyway. It wasn't fun, I was sick of it already and I wasn't even at the party. Fiddling with the rose on my dress wasn't a fun way to pass the time, not like the party would be any better.

"Yay"

I didn't like how Aerith said that, my melancholy mood was worsened, because, I knew, we were at the damn party.

The others got out first, Aerith was waiting for me; she must have known that I didn't want to get out, but she wasn't going to let me stay,

"Come on darling, you'll have fun" she pleaded.

Somehow I knew that would be very wrong.

Sure as hell I was right about the whole thing, how was a bunch of drunk and stoned teenagers doing to stupid stunts and hurting themselves fun?

I must have been the only sober one there, even Aerith had had a few, at least she wasn't drunk like her friends, Yuffie had thrown a half empty bottle at me last time I saw her.

Outside the drunken kids were having drinking games and some were dancing, or making out in a corner of the yard. Some girls were in the pool, playing what looked like a game of drunken Marco polo, I secretly wished they would drown. I knew who they were, they bullied me back in primary school, but now they had the thoughts that I was a whore and than so was one of them, so I was cool to them and shouldn't be a victim of their harsh words. They disgust me, finding it funny because they were whores, they were still kids. Sure 18 is legally an adult, but they weren't out of high school yet. 20 is still young, so they are kids, not what they think they are.

I'm surrounded by Rodents, I feel filthy just by standing next to them, I feel like I'm getting stupider, listening to their retard conversations.

I have stayed silent through out the whole time, it will stay that way; I don't converse with their kind. They've been infected with some plague, almost everyone in this generation is, the world is getting dumber, it's disgusting, the rodents consume the mind of good people, make them like them, they've tried it with me, but it didn't work.

Everyday I'm scared that they are doing it to Aerith, she's not stupid, but it's working, very slowly. Once upon a time a thing like this would be vile to her, but now she likes them, I hate that, I want to save her from this.

I had to leave my thoughts, boys were coming up to me, I needed to ditch them, I refused to say a word to them, I knew what they wanted, I wasn't going to give it to them, no way in hell.  
>there was three, each of them had a bottle filled with beer, all were drunk, not as much as some at this thing, but that didn't mean they would be any less infuriating.<p>

The first one put his arm around my neck, thinking that I would be fine with it.

"So" he started off, he wasn't as drunk as I presumed, but it was obvious he had had some beer none the less.

"How you doing?" he chuckled, I wasn't going to reply, no, I'll give him nothing but a glare.

He didn't even notice my anger, stupid boy.

The second boy was laughing, thinking he had came up with a good line was what I predicted, it wasn't good, I took it as an insult.

"Hey girly, your looking very do-able tonight"

That was not a compliment, he must have been without a mind to think or very drunk, or most likely both.

"So what would you like to do? How bouts me getting you are drink and then maybe…" he didn't finish the sentence, but I knew what he meant.

God I was thirsty, but I didn't want to drink anything that was here.

They were laughing, I was glaring, I was angry, they were happy.

They were oblivious of every thing I was thinking and feeling, even though my anger was clear from simply looking at me, that's how stupid they were.

I needed to get away, I'd go find Aerith, tell her I wanted to leave, needed to leave. I had been standing in the same spot for the past three hours, she had left me after saying where everything was, but I didn't want to do anything because I didn't want to be here in the first place.

I pushed the guys arm off of me, he complained, so I kicked him, hoping that that might get my message through. I ran into the house, believing that Aerith might be in there, I heard him and his friends calling me a slut as I ran off.

Idiots.

The house was worse than outside; the people were even more drunk, in corners of every room people were getting high on a multitude of drugs that I doubt I could name all of them.

Walking past the rooms, dodging between the people going past me, they stank of alcohol. It was disgusting, because they were still kids no matter what they thought, not what their delusion's made them think they were. I good hear faint sounds from inside the rooms, from outside when I was waiting for an open space to get past. I hated what I heard, I wanted to vomit, wanted something bad to happen to the kids inside for such wrong actions. I saw girls that I used to be friends with, and felt like crying, they were all in skimpy outfits, most of them stoned. It was not a pleasant sight.

Why did my sweet Aerith like these things? These disgusting, vile things. They were a waste of time, I would be having a better time in my trashed bedroom, writing stories I don't even enjoy, just because I want the feeling of completing something, a feeling of accomplishment that I longed for for so long.

I saw Aerith's friend Cissnei, leaning against the wall, staring like she wasn't even in that body of hers, she may have not been drunk, or even stoned, but her mind wasn't here at the moment. It must have wanted to leave her useless life, bored to death of living that way, so it escaped into one of the many worlds of fantasy to enjoy life, even if it was for just a moment.

Aerith was in the last room, at the end of the house, I had to go through all of it to get to her; it had not been enjoyable. The room was practically empty, sides some sleeping people in the corners, and her of course, with her boyfriend Zack.

They didn't see me, both a little drunk. I eyed them with a mean look, Aerith was turning into one of these people, it was tearing my heart to pieces just having that thought in my head.

And Zack, well I just hated him, nothing more to say. He wasn't helping things, if anything she had gotten worse in the short time they had been dating, Poor Aerith's mum was sad about the matter, I knew, but Aerith had been left oblivious.

I had heard plenty bad things about Zack; some were lies, silly rumours created by losers for nought more than a joke. He'd had a million girlfriends, he didn't care much about them, that was true, when I had seen him with them, he'd barely cared about what they were going on about. I didn't think Aerith was valued anymore than all those whores.

He spent more time with her than he had with others, but that was because he was trying to play the 'good boyfriend' part better than usual, at least he was aware of Aerith having a brain.

I stormed in, I didn't like were they could be going with what they were doing. I pulled Aerith away, she stumbled back unsteadily. Than wrapped her arms around my neck in a tight hug, so drunk she had utterly forgotten my problem with my space being invaded.

She rested her head on my shoulder, giggling in a rather creepy manner,

"Well hello Darling, howya do…ing?" she barely made her words distinguishable.

"I want to go home Aerith" I said in a loud voice, I wasn't sure if she was paying me attention.

"Have you met Zack darling?"

"Yes, many times, now stop this I wanted to go home" I repeated in a loud voice again.

"Really?"

I had my doubts she was paying me her attention, to distracted by watching Zack do a stupid robot dance.

"Aerith I want to go home!" I yelled it this time, hoping that a louder voice would make her truly notice what I was saying.

She took her head of my shoulder and loosened her grip on me.

"You do, but I'm having fun?"

"Well I'm not, we're going home"

She tried giving me a puppy dog look, as cute as it was it wasn't going to change my mind. I had to drag her to get her to go.

After a couple steps she stopped dragging her feet and started walking properly, or as best a drunken girl could. I had to round up her friends, Yuffie had fallen asleep, so Elena was practically dragging her, she wasn't that bad, apparently she had limited herself to one drink because she had to visit relatives tomorrow and turning up with a bad hangover wasn't a bright idea, Cissnei's mind still didn't seem to be connected to her body, she dragged her feet and followed behind us, her blank stare was starting to get creepy.

When we got to the car Aerith hopped into the driver's seat, it didn't need to be said that I had used every thing I know to get her out of it; my throat was in pain from my yelling by the end. But it didn't work, she was confident that it would be alright, she'd done this before, her teenager logic was what she believed in, so there was no reasoning with her. So I got into the passenger seat, quite worried, while the other three got into the back.

How I wished that I had tried harder to stop Aerith from driving, I wished she hadn't convinced me that it would be alright, but it's Aerith, she can make you think anything.

Yuffie woke up rather quickly, and to the annoyance off all started to complain drunkenly, at some point she was complaining that my hair was too long, so she was going to cut it (a/n, I get that all the time at school, and my hair isn't even that long) I corrected her that it was not too long, because that's not actually possible, it's just simply long. Of course she gave a stupid reply, which also had nothing to do with the conversation,

She asked 'so how much money have you made from being a prostitute?'

I wasn't all that bothered by it since it was the question that I got asked the most, so I said to her what I say to every one else

'I'm not a prostitute, I just dress like one'

Even I drunk person found that stupid, replying, 'yeah right'

Elena, who was sitting next to her, was getting even more pissed at her than me, and did us all a favour by giving her a wonderful wrack on the head. We didn't hear anything from her after that, I believe Elena had knocked her clean out.

But I wasn't going to look back and check, there was a drunken person driving this car, I wanted to assist her a little, like moving the car to the side when she started to drive on the line that split the two sides apart in case she began driving on the wrong side of the road, which in this darkness would cause an easy crash.

It was tiring having to listen to the drunken words being said throughout the car, Yuffie was talking again, Elena was now too, and so was Aerith, who I was constantly having to tell to concentrate on the road. I was scared to be honest; I had a feeling that something was wrong, really wrong.

I hate it when I'm right.

It was over in a flash, I heard wheels screeching, than a truck collided into the side, spitting debris at me and the others, the car spun in circles, it was terrifying, like an eternity of horror, it didn't feel like only the few split seconds like it was in truth. I was clinging on to the seat for dear life, shielding my face best I could under my arms.

Than it stoped, it was over. My heart was beating so fast; I had never felt fear like I had in that moment.

Quickly I assessed the situation, my side of the car had sustained not much damage, I only had a small amount of cuts on my arms and legs, my head had banged into the seat repeatedly during the crash, and it hurt like hell, but I couldn't spend all the time worrying about myself.

Cissnei had been on the same side, so she should be the same, or close to it. I could make out Elena and Yuffie through the smoke that was rising from the damaged engine, Elena didn't look much worse than me, though her arm didn't look like it was bending in the right direction, it could have been broken. Yuffie was worse, she didn't have a bunch of cuts like us but there was a large one on her head and her right leg was covered with blood, it looked ghastly. I had to turn away before I puked up my dinner.

But Aerith, I couldn't see her, I had to find her!

I undid what was the remainder of my seat belt and got onto my hands and legs and searched the bottom of the car, Aerith hadn't been wearing a seat belt,; she must have been smashed into the front.

The gases were blearing my sight, I could barely see, and to top that off I couldn't breath.

My lungs hurt from coughing and the cuts on my legs were searing with pain each time I moved, but I couldn't give up, I needed to save Aerith. I wiped away the drops of blood that dripped into my eye from the one cut on my head, than moved along, than I saw her, she wasn't conscious, that was clear, now I really was scared.

I grabbed her bloody arms and lifted her up; the door on her side was demolished, so I didn't have to use up strength forcing it open.

Outside the icy night air turned my sweat cold, the air was much cleaner and it was easy to breathe, the wind was battering the cars gases away from us. The others were outside, Elena and Yuffie were on the same side, keeping their injuries off the gravel as best possible, Yuffie was crying tears off pain, she wasn't in a good condition, I was amazed she kept conscious. Elena had a hand applying pressure to her worst cut to stop it bleeding worse. Cissnei was on the other side, I could just make her out, she didn't look bad, but it wasn't safe for her to stay on the side where the gases were blowing for long, she would have to come over this side.

But they weren't my concern, not when Aerith was unconscious. I checked her pulse first, I didn't feel a beat. I felt like my heart had stoped when I couldn't find a pulse.

I racked my brains for a way to help her, but I was panicking so much my damn mind was coming up with blanks, you stupid mind, this isn't like some school test, don't have a mental blackout here, Aerith's life is in our hands! She can't die, not my precious Aerie!

It came to me slowly, she needed to be resuscitated, but how did I do that again? Damn what was that thing that made it easy to remember, ABC something?

Seeing Aerith's cold body lying motionless was not helping me, what was it again?

DRABCD? Yes that was it; I learnt it in year 8

The first D meant danger right? Well that steps freaking done that's for damn sure.

The R stood for response or something? So I gotta check if she'll respond right? I was told when doing that it was good to pinch their earlobes or a thing similar, so I'll do that. I did, and as I thought she would, she stayed still. I was so frightened.

Well the A stood for….. Airways? I have to clear anything that might by obstructing her airways, alright, I'll do that. I raised my shaky hand to her mouth and opened it; I could have had a sigh of relief as they were clear. Good at least that's one thing.

B is for breathing, I have to check if she is breathing, well I don't need to because I've had my hand on her the whole time and haven't felt it raise once or heard a breath so she isn't breathing at all.

Next is C, compressions.

Alright, now this can help her live or die, I have to do my best for her, she needs to live. With a trembling breath I covered her nose (as I was told to in class) than breathed into her mouth, its two breaths each 30 compressions.

I am terrified, my hands are quivering, I wish they'd stop doing that; they will only make this harder than it needs to be. Still I place them on Aerith's chest, I was informed that while doing compressions you will need to push 1/3 of the depth of their chest, which for anyone with a brain will know that's a lot, I could break a rib, and I don't want to cause anymore pain then what she's already in.

I start the compressions, 30, than breathe twice, compressions another 30 times, than breathe. I repeat the pattern, again and again. Waiting for a response, hoping for a miracle that inside I probably knew wouldn't come.

I arms were stinging, sore from the compressions, and the open cuts with blood running down my arms. The cut on my head was dripping more blood onto my ear lashes, before onto my eye, I wiped it away with my arm but that didn't help as they themselves were covered with blood. I was beginning to feel dizzy, Aerith wasn't responding at all and I was running out of breath, why didn't the others help me? I sobbed.

I was so tired needed to sleep, but I couldn't need to save Aerith.

I began another 30 compressions, and than another two breaths. As much as I tried to stop it my head was beginning to droop, this was getting so hard, and Aerith was still in the same state. I lifted my arms again to start the compressions again, but then I heard a cough, looking at her face, she was coughing. I was happy for a reaction but she was still in need of help. I lifted her head, being careful not to cause pain.

"It's alright, you're going to be okay, you just see" I sobbed, not even believing my own words.

She was breathing, I had got her breathing!

But she was noway near fine; I rested her head on my lap, before reaching into my pocket and taking out my phone, it had gotten very dirty but was still in working order.

I fumbled with the numbers to dial 000, as my hands were still twitching it wasn't easy to get the right numbers.

A woman's voice answered, in a kind tone, but with a small hint of annoyance, which I could guess was from getting joke calls all night.

"What is it?"

"Umm…" I felt like I had lost my voice, I didn't know what were right words the right words to say.

"If you don't say nothing we can't help you"

Words that I had heard so many times before, but this time I really would get help from hearing them.

"My...my friends and I have gotten into a car accident"

Well, friend, the others hated me, but that didn't matter at this moment in time.

"How many of you are there miss?"

"Fif...Five" I stumbled to get the words out.

"And where are you?"

"I looked around I barely knew, I hadn't been on this street before, all I saw were trees.

"Umm"

"Thelma road"

Elena gave me the answer, I didn't know if I should be surprised, we were all in a mess here, she wanted help as much as I did.

"Thelma road, sector 3, Midgar" I answered the woman.

"Alright honey, ambulances should be there soon, don't worry"

"Thank you" I put in before the call ended.

Now all we had to do was wait.

Looking across to Elena and Yuffie, they were snuggling close, the air was getting colder, and we were getting worse, we had nothing to stop the bleeding. I would have still been fearing the worse for us all if help hadn't been coming. In this situation time went slow, we were tired, freezing, and in pain. Yuffie wasn't awake, she'd fallen asleep some time ago, it would make her not feel her pain like she had been feeling, but I didn't think it was very safe for her to sleep in a time like this.

In stories I read when people were injured, they had to stay awake and not fall into unconsciousness, so their friends had to force them to keep their eyes open, staying awake is the best thing when injured, if Yuffie's were more severe, I would make Elena wake her up, but the worst were on her leg, I couldn't see most of the damage it had been caused in the crash because blood and dirt covered it. I was worried about that cut on her head, she hadn't worn her seat belt I think, same as Aerith hadn't, so Yuffie's head must have rammed into the front seat very hard. If she had had the seat belt on, it would still have happened, but hopefully she would have a lesser wound. The cut looked bad, and it was in one of the worst possible places.

Elena's arm looked broken, but other than that she was near fine, better than me actually, but she must have been in worse pain, the gravel in that place had been messed up in the crash, so now it clung to their cuts more than it would where I was. It still had gravel digging in to my cuts though, it stung like hell.

Cissnei was at the back of the car; I was right about that she wouldn't be that bad, she was probably the least hurt. She'd been in the back so she hadn't had broken car parts being flung at her, but I believe she would have been pushed around in the back, she didn't have all that many cuts, but she was beginning to develop bruises.

So the only one that had really gotten harmed was Aerith.

The truck was on her side of the car, it hit the middle I think, it barely touched the car but it was enough to make it spin and destroy the doors on that one side, it was a miracle that she and Yuffie hadn't been worse.

Yuffie had a seat in front of her so she didn't get flung like Aerith had been, she must have lost conscious when the truck hit right off. Her stomach was bleeding, that was her own blood, most of it; some of mine had dripped on her as I rested her on my lap. There was another cut on the top of her chest, it wasn't as bad but it didn't look good.

I didn't like to look at her in this condition, it was scary, she was breathing again but she was still in the red, her injuries didn't look nice, it was worse than Yuffie's leg.

I felt a soft touch on my arm, Aerith was holding on to me, but it was a loose grip, she couldn't keep her arm up very well, it was a strain on her.

Her eyes opened a crack, she was staring up at me, her lips were moving, but words weren't coming out.

I ran my hand down the length of her hair, she was scared, she must have been in so much pain, and not even have known why. I wanted to comfort her.

"It's alright Aerie, you're going to be okay."

I was crying, I think she could see that, it wasn't reassuring to cry while saying such things, it shows your doubt.

She looked terrified, could she even hear me?

She was covered in dirt and gravel, not to mention her own blood.

Her grip on my arm slipped and her arm fell back onto the ground, I was afraid that she was getting worse. I knew she was, each passing second did her bad.

"Aerith, stay with me okay, you'll be fine"

Elena was watching me as I cried, whether or not she really did like Aerith as a friend, she still respected her as a kind person, and someone like her shouldn't have their life taken away from them like this.

"Darling?"

It was a quiet murmur that came from her lips, but with all the silence around, it was easy to hear,

"Yes Aerie?"

She tilted her head to the side, she was still conscious, just barely. Her arms were still opened, and she had a shadow of a smile on her face.

"Oharo my Darling Tifa, your doing just horrid I presume?"

She was making a joke? This was not a right time for that,

"Aerie, don't waste you breath making jokes, you're hurt"

Elena was looking on; she couldn't make out what Aerith was saying, and was trying to figure out the conversation from simply what I was saying.

I waited for the ambulance; doing everything I could to make Aerith stay awake. I was getting fearful of this situation; if the ambulance didn't get here soon we might really be in trouble.

Luckily, it didn't take much longer for them; the medics did a quick first aid, covering the major wounds with bandages, Aerith was helped first, as she was in major need of help, Yuffie was helped second as she had lost a lot of blood thanks to the cut on her leg and head, she'd been worse than what I thought.

Aerith went in the first ambulance, I and Cissnei were in the same one, she wasn't very bad, but a cut on her stomach needed to be cleaned before it got infected, it was the worst injury she had. The cut on my head had been bandaged, so had most on my arms; the ones on my legs had yet to be, they needed to be cleaned first, but with Aerith in the condition she was in the medics had no time to help us then and there.

Elena and Yuffie went in the second Ambulance, Yuffie's leg needed to be stitched up, so did the one on her head, Elena was about the same as me but her arm was broken, I had been right about that.

The Medic next to me was keeping an eye on Aerith while getting her to the hospital where she could be properly treated. She was putting pressure on her stomach to help stop the bleeding, she said she could have internal injuries from the crash, and if so she would need to have an operation to try and save her, or she might not make it.

"I'm surprised she was conscious when we got there" the medic spoke up,

"Did someone perform CPR?" she questioned.

"I did" I answered.

She gave me a small smile,

"Lucky you did, she could have been dead when we got there if you hadn't"

So I really did save her? I was so glad hearing that, but I knew that she wasn't out of the woods yet, she still had other problems to deal with before she would be fine.

"How did the crash happen?" the medic asked me, a question that I wasn't even sure of the answer

I twiddled with my fingers, trying to think, but it had happened so fast, I just remember, I saw it for just a split second then we were spinning, things were flying at me. And then it was over.

"Was she under the influence of alcohol?" she must ask that question often to kids like us.

"Yes" I answered sadly, "I knew she shouldn't have been driving, but she wouldn't let me drive, she doesn't let anyone drive the car, it belonged to her mum's husband before he died, and her mum doesn't like other people driving it, so Aerith was being stubborn. But we were on the right side of the road, and she was going the speed limit, so I don't think the crash was her fault."

The medic nodded.

"What do you remember, where did the truck hit?"

I remember that part clearly, time felt like it was going so slow at that very moment.

"The drivers side, about in the middle of the car was where it hit" I responded.

She gave another nod,

"Which way was it going?"

I gave a thought about that, and I released, the crash was completely and utterly not our fault because,

"The same way we were going,"

The medic gave me a strange look

"So whoever the driver was he was on the wrong side of the road?"

Her tone of voice was something I didn't expect from a woman like her, she clearly expressed how much of an idiot she believed this mystery person to be.

"They deserved to be charged, they're obviously drunk, even an idiot wouldn't do something like this person has done"

She gave a short pause before continuing,

"And if this poor girl doesn't make it, they have every right to be charged with murder."

She was right, but I didn't want the thought of Aerith dying to be in my head, so instead of agreeing with her, I said the other thing in my head.

"Don't call her 'poor', it makes her sound pitiful"

She gave me one look before turning her sight back to Aerith,

"I'm sorry."

...

At the hospital Aerith was taken away immediately, she had internal bleeding, which needed to be stoped before it got worse. I didn't give a shit about my injuries, which I'd been told could get infected and needed to be treated quickly before they did, because Aerith was still much worse, and I would have to wait maybe even hours now to find out if she'll be alright now.

A nurse took me away to give me help.

Inside the room the nurse started to clean my cuts and apply disinfectant to most of them. The gravel from the road had dug its way into my legs, and caused more bleeding, so they were the worst. The cut on my head had to be stitched, it wasn't bad for a head wound, but it had still caused an unsafe amount of blood loss.

The disinfectant hurt like damn hell, stinging each time it touched me.

Getting the stitches was unpleasant as well.

The nurse put a bandage over the worst then I was allowed to go, not that I could leave, I had no one to drive me home, and I still needed to know if Aerith was alright.

So I took a seat outside of the operating room, hoping for the best.

Elena came up to me; she had just as many bandages as well, but hadn't needed as many stitches. Her arm was in a cast.

She took a seat next to me (not like I would say it out loud but I was amazed she had actually gone and sat so close).

"So Aerith's still in there?"

I nodded solemnly "Yeah"

"Sucks, she's a nice girl"

I was feeling too distraught to answer.

"Yuffie's getting stitches, on her head, and a million on her leg, might be awhile."

I nodded, I thought that would happen.

"Did you see Cissy?"

I had seen her, a nurse was cleaning the gash on her stomach, it looked like it was causing her a lot of pain.

"Yeah"

"Getting the same thing we got?"

"Yeah"

I barely felt like I was even in my body, like this was a messed up dream. I was having trouble responding to Elena's questions, it was like I couldn't hear them; they sounded as a quiet whisper to me.

"Why are you talking to me?"

I was truly curious about that, all the other times she'd been near me she made some horribly untrue whore joke.

"Hmm?"

I repeated what I just said for her again.

"I don't have anyone else to talk to"

Such a stupid answer. Simple minded.

"That's all it takes for you not to be mean to me?"

"Meh, sort of?"

How surprising, she didn't even know why herself, like I thought, she's not very bright.

This generation is infected by a plague of stupidity.

"Are you really a whore?"

I knew I couldn't converse with her for long before she would ask that, I shouldn't have expected any different.

"I'm not a whore, you just have the delusions that I am one, I dress similar to how most girls dress and because I happen to be different it makes me a whore when I'm not; most other girls my age are though"

Elena sniggered, but it was not because she didn't believe me; it was for a dumber reason,

"LOL, you talk like an old person"

"There is nothing wrong with having a wide vocabulary"

She continued with her idiotic laughter.

"Ah, yes there is"

"Why?"

"Because it's stupid!" she burst out in fits of laughter.

"Actually it's the exact opposite"

"How?"

Oh God she is a dumbass.

"Having a small vocabulary is stupid, because smart people are the ones with larger ones"

I was getting pissed at her now, this was unbelievably retarded.

"Can you leave me alone?" I tried to ask politely, but my annoyance showed.

"Fine, you're boring anyway"

Elena got out of her seat and left me alone, better.

I had a stupid five minute distraction from my current situation, but now I was again left alone to wallow in misery.

Why was Aerith the one that got hurt, she's such a nice person, Yuffie was on her side too, and she didn't end up near as bad as Aerith, if it was her than people would be happy instead of sad, god that girl is annoying. I surprise myself with my thoughts, sometimes they are just so evil, but I'm so sick of being so surrounded by stupid morons all the time. This generation is stupid, the whole world is full of morons, the general IQ is going down at a speeding rate, and soon we will be a race of retards ruled by the almighty computer.

I need to snap myself out of this; I shouldn't be thinking like this, I should be thinking about what is happening now, even if it makes me feel bad. But why should I feel bad, I'm the only one that tried to help Aerith, the medic herself had said that if I hadn't done what I had, she would have been dead already. So I can't be blamed for anything, I should instead pray for Aerith to be safe, she'll be alright, I know she will, because she's Aerith, god wouldn't let a girl like her die this way.

I clasped my hands together in prayer, wishing that it will be fine; nobody is going to die tonight.

I was unaware of time passing; I was inside my mind, wishing for a miracle. People were walking past me, but I paid them no attention, time flew by with me not even noticing a minute passing.

But I snapped out of it by someone trying to talk to me, I turned my face to glower at them.

I was taken aback by seeing Zack standing next to my seat.

My eyes kept up the angry look, but the rest of my face hinted my curiosity,

"What are you doing here?"

He himself was shocked to be asked that,

"Well for one I just heard that my girlfriend is in the hospital with serious injuries!"

He looked damn cross with me,

"And besides," he mumbled under his breath, "I was already here because my friend had a bit too much to drink"

If we were not here for such serious reasons I would have laughed at that last part, but I did let out a tiny smile,

"Ain't your friend a dumbo then?" I smiled evilly.

"Hey he's not like what you think, the kid got forced to go to the party anyway, he didn't actually have much, he's not good with alcohol is all" he tried explaining.

"Kid? Not many people like you will call someone their age a kid, so is he younger?"

"No, just small, I wouldn't take a kid to a party, that's wrong"

I raised an eyebrow to what he just said, "You're a kid to most of society; how is it not wrong if you go?"

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, deciding against whatever he was going to say at the last second,

"You got me there actually" he scratched his head.

"Wow, so you're smart enough to realise that, sugoi desu ne"

"Hey I'm not a complete idiot, and were you just talking in Wutanese?"

"Maybe, could you go away now?" I was getting sick of talking.

He was staggered from my question,

"How the crap can you ask me that? No way in hell I'm leaving! Aerith is hurt!" he yelled right at me.

"So what, she's just like all those other girls to you isn't she? Nothing more than a stupid object for your amusement!" I stood up in my fury, but was then overtaking by flaming pain all over and sat down to stop the burning.

"How can you talk like you know me?" he sounded hurt, but I didn't fall for it.

"Stop lying with that dumb "good boyfriend' act"

He as angry with me for sure, that was true, but I didn't believe in that wounded look he was giving me.

"I'll admit that I've been mean to my girlfriends in the past, but it's not that way with Aerith"

"Really?" I asked sceptically.

"Yes" he swallowed the lump in his throat, "I love her, I really do, please Tifa, I'm not lying!" he was pleading to me to believe him, he was crying silent tears. He may be lying, or telling the truth, but I doubted if I even cared now, no matter what I still hated him.

He looked so downcast, so did I, we were both in tears now, consumed by messed up emotions overtaken by anger, fear and sadness.

This was another moment where time passed without me caring, or even bothering to notice it, we were staring into each others fearful eyes; we both feared the worse for the girl that was most important to us both.

When the doctor came out, I wanted to punch him, before he had even given me the answer whether Aerith had made it or not, it was in his eyes. My heart stoped beating, I couldn't breathe; I felt like vomiting.

He looked up to me and Zack, he didn't want to say it, he could see we must have been through so much already just waiting.

"Are you with the young girl that got into the car accident?"

Wordlessly we nodded.

The doctor's expression became grimmer, and I knew I had been right, she was gone.

"Well thanks to her receiving CPR she was able to keep consciousness up until she got to the hospital, which is a good thing for someone in a condition like hers, but when operating we found many internal injuries that were very severe. We couldn't help her in the time she had left, she has passed on. I'm very sorry for your loss"

I felt like I had just died, the only one that gave a shit about me was gone; I'd never see her again. Tears fell silently down my cheeks. I was stuck staring into the doctor's eyes, I felt like my emotions had just left me, but even so, I was so distraught, I hated the man in front of me right now, it was his fault! Why did Aerith have to die, so many other people at that party had deserved to, so why had she?

I hit him; he hadn't expected it so he fell down to the ground. He put a hand to his reddened cheek looking up to me flabbergasted.

(A/N bad time to say this but I've just needed to use that word at some point)

I was fuming I couldn't help myself, I was in a blinding rage,

"I hate you, it's your fault that Aerie's gone!" I cried.

I stomped off, I couldn't be there anymore. Zack called out to me but I didn't respond, I kept on my angry way.

"Tifa! Listen to me!" He was being persistent, I don't like persistent people; they always go too far.

"Tifa!" he grabbed onto my shoulder and twisted me around, he was crying, and I was pissed.

"What?" I screeched

"I…" he fumbled with his words "it's not his fault, it's not, you didn't need to attack him like that!" like I didn't already know that.

"I am so pissed off right now, do you think I care at all?" I continued screaming.

"I care Tifa" he cried.

I went silent. I was going to ask why but came up with something better to say,

"Zack, were you the one who told Aerith about the party?" my rage had disappeared, my voice was a whisper.

He held his head low,

"Yeah"

I raised my hand to hit him like I had the doctor, but I stopped, what was the point. Hitting him wasn't going to bring her back. But even so, I needed to get this rage out of me; I would use my voice to escape from its burning grasp.

"I hate you, everything about you, I hate it all" it was such an emotionless sound that came out, but it got my thoughts through.

"That's alright, because it's my entire fault" he came out with the same tone of voice, devoid of emotion.

He let go of my shoulder and left, going around the corner, and disappearing from my eyesight.

"It was the truck drivers fault you know" a voice piped up.

Elena was standing at the door of the closest room; inside I could see Yuffie's sleeping form bundled up in blankets.

I know.

...

After that, my emotions were gone, save hatred and all my melancholy emotions that threatened to consume my very being. I couldn't feel happiness; it had become something alien.

Aerith's funeral came and went, I had offered her mother to help pay for it, but she refused, she said I should save it up for a better cause, but I didn't have one. It wasn't fair for the aging woman to have to go through all that she had. She had lost a husband to the war many years ago, before she had adopted Aerith, and now her daughter herself was gone. She was alone. To make matters worse the hospital had made her pay them even though her daughter hadn't made it. She paid for the others too, when mine and Yuffie's dad's had already offered.

She was a strong woman, she was filled with sadness, but she never let it show, something I could never do.

When I went back to school, I knew that it would all go back to everyone hating me again. But it was worse than what I had come to expect.

School started out like normal, me getting called whore by every passing person that noticed me walking down the hallway stuck in my silent permanent melancholy mood.

Elena no longer bothered to say a thing to me; she was the one that had seen me try to save Aerith, which we all knew had been a heartbroken useless attempt; she didn't want to cause me more pain.

Her arm was still in a cast, and a few cuts remained. For me I only had the one on my head left, it was still bandaged, people wouldn't stop looking at it. At least Cissnei could hide the one on her stomach (which she was being a little subconscious about and would always cover her it). Yuffie was out of the hospital but wasn't coming to school, she had to take it easy or the cuts on her legs might open up, the cut on her head was much worse than the one on mine, there was a chance of her having minor brain damage, but nobody was sure yet whether she does or not.

One person being a mute near me certainly wasn't much compared to the fact that more people were teasing me now. The morons, what they say never makes any sense, well just the other day I got called breast cancer woman for having big boobs. And people have been calling me a retard and nerd in the same sentence, so am I smarter than them or dumber?

Not to mention people have started to make a habit out of poking my head, yes right where the bandage is, the substitute I had for English the other day hit one of the guys with a book when he tried. I haven't seen him since, maybe he shouldn't have hit a student with a hardcover book, as much as he deserved it; I doubt it being legal.

These people were so brainless, I have been through so much lately, and they think it would be funny to make it worse; well they're just cowards then aren't they? Sticking in their big groups of friends, wanting to feel tough or maybe they don't like themselves, and change all their negative emotions into insults to give to me.

How wonderful.

I wish I still had Aerith with me, she was protection from them; they liked her too much to be mean when she was near.

I had a new teacher in English; she was my old science teacher in year 9. She was pretty, but no one liked her, the teachers and the students, but nobody would explain to me what the hell.

My class were faster at doing the work that was set for them in class, most were stupid, but all were fast. Aerith had been one of the smart ones. The teacher didn't let them have a break when the work was all done, instead she gave the class an amusing extra activity to do, this may be a factor in why the students dislike her but for the teachers I'm clueless.

We had to write a paragraph, describing an emotion or feeling as if we were in the view of the emotion/feeling itself. It didn't seem that hard, but I let myself think for a moment about it. I wouldn't write a happy thing, because they're way to alien. Something more dark would do well, but what?

I peaked to the side to see the girl next to me was finished already, she hadn't put much thought in the description, happiness was what it was about, how childish.

She had been writing like this:

Happiness is like sunshine,

Happiness is like fun,

Happiness is like a party,

Happiness is like yum foods.

All she did was name things she liked and said that they were what happiness was, she didn't even try to put herself at the emotions point of view. I shall do something much better than this brainless girl.

As I finished, I took notice of her looking at mine, it was too complicated for her small mind to comprehend, it made me wonder why we where in the same class, standards have dropped into hell.

"Yuck, that's horrible, why would you write that? Are you some kind of Goth?" she whispered.

"No, I'm just not in a good mood" I answered grumbling.

"What kind of mood?" she questioned, which I thought I had already explained to her what kind of mood, apparently I need to make it easier for her.

"Well you know, sad, depressing, melancholy, distraught, dejected, angry, fuming, that kind of thing"

She went very silent, "No I don't know"

"Your light bulb isn't bright is it?"

Her expression was purer confusion,

"What the hell does that mean?"

"What ever it means" I was mumbling now because this conversation was too stupid for me to really care about it.

"Well whatever, I don't care what a girl like you think about me" she finished off.

"So do you think I'm a slut like everyone else?" I inquired, thinking she meant the most common thing.

"Yeah, but your evil too" she chuckled.

"How?" I inquired to her again, not liking where she was going one bit.

"I was told that you killed your friend two weeks ago"

I heart stopped beating again, now I was filled with nothing but my blazing rage,

'killed my friend'

I stood up and grabbed her by her shirt collar,

"Killed my friend? I'm the only one that tried to save her! What on earth is wrong with you?"

The other students jumped at my sudden outburst, and the teacher ran to the aid of the girl who I had just absolutely terrified.

"What are you doing? Don't hurt her!" she commanded me, obviously unaware of my reasons for doing this.

"She said it's my fault that my friend is dead" I pleaded my reason.

She was taken aback by it, but as a teacher she had to do her job, so naturally I would get in trouble too.

"Both of you down to the principal's office" she yelled.

"But miss you can't leave me alone with her! She's a psycho!"

"She only did that for what you said, you aren't getting out of this; you're in trouble too"

So as obvious we were forced to go down to the office, while the other girl wouldn't stop complaining.

He was already having a rant to another student so we had to sit in chairs outside waiting for him to finish. The ten minute wait was unpleasant; kids out of class were doing the usual and calling me a prostitute, the other girl was cowering from me the whole time, a large overreaction.

Finally the door opened and we could go in. the first thing we had to do after taking a seat was explain to principal Shinra what the crap we'd done. He let the retard go first.

"So Miss Lalita, what did Tifa do exactly and what did you do to cause it?"

"She attacked me sir, but I didn't do anything to cause it, I was being a good girl, because I always am."

Oh what a lie that was! Hey mind, do you think if this girl was in a court she'd do the same damn thing? Of course she would, she's just stupid like that.

The principal eyed Lalita closely, catching onto her obvious lie.

"So Miss Tifa what really happened?" he asked me this time.

"She said it was my fault that my best friend is dead so I yelled at her."

"You attacked me!" Lalita complained,

"I grabbed you and nothing more" I corrected her keeping my calm.

"Screw you creepy evil chick"

"I'm not a baby chicken"

What a retard expression she gave me, ha ha isn't it fun to mess with her.

"That didn't make any sense." She whinged

"Stop arguing!" Principal Shinra yelled at us.

I turned my attention back to him, and let him go onto what I would suspect an oncoming rant (like he usually would to kids in our situation)

"Lalita, you've been in here plenty of times, this is Tifa's first, so I'm going to believe her side of this story"

"What, the creepy girl?"

Oh just keep on whining girl, because that going to get you places isn't it?

"Why is she creepy?" she was confusing the principal with her mind-less words.

"She just is alright? You should of seen what she wrote in class"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Is it just me or is this conversation getting more stupid?

"Miss made us describe stuff and hers was all scary and stupid"

Correction, yours was stupid.

"What did you actually write Tifa?"

Why did he even need to ask, Lalita is just an idiot.

"There was nothing wrong with it, I was being creative"

"Creative my ass"

God this kid was annoying.

"Can you say it anyway?" Principal Shinra asked of me.

"Fine,

I am fear,

I am the shadows on a moonless night,

The monsters that hides under your bed,

My job is to capture you in my darkness, to destroy your light.

All that is good is alien to me, it is my enemy.

I am poisonous, monstrous, I hide inside flames, in the cold deep,

I bring all your dejected emotions to the surface,

To destroy you from inside out,

The night is my domain."

Silence, of course.

"I don't think it is right for someone your age to write a thing like that" he scolded me. he must be stupid too.

"I don't think it's right for kids my age to go to parties, get drunk, drink and drive, murder people. stuff like that"

Now to sit back and wait for the complaints,

"What the crap are you talking about? We're not kids girl"

Lalita, is getting dumber.

"If we're not kids then why did you just call me a girl?"

"Because you are one?" She was getting confused over my logic!

"Enough both of you, you have a lunch time detention, no complaining."

Lalita was about to complain, but her dull mind could at least retain memories where in this situation that didn't do any good. Not much but that's is a start.

As I had to sit in the office during lunch, I had to wonder, did she ever figure out what I meant, I knew she hadn't, her expression showed puzzlement, she could be thinking of it right now.

If I was a kid, then I would be a girl. but if she see's people her age as adults, so yes that by rights should include me, then I would be a woman. But her mind just doesn't work that way.

I'd been having strange feelings lately, it wasn't just those dark melanchorly ones that were making me want to just smash someone into a concrete wall. But like a feeling of something bad happening, similar to what I had felt before the crash, but this was more like I was going through that bad thing right now. But that didn't make all that much sense. Sure everybody hated me, my best friend got murdered by a drunken truck driver, for which my feelings are positively full of sadness. But all the worse is over, even if I never fully recover from this pain. I had this feeling before in a car crash, and god hopes that i'm not going to be in another one, I still have the injuries from the one that took my dear Aerie's life.

Shouldn't I have such a feeling for more serious matters? I hardly count bullies as something bad. They've never done something that was truly bad to me, irrelogical insults by mentally challenged people barely pass for something bad. It's a sad fact that it does to such a number of people, bulling is for the weak.

So why do I have this feeling? Why won't it leave?

At night I returned for the first time what was usual my normal schedule for the night. Writing on my computer, while eating some type of food that sure as hell wasn't considered good, tonight it was the caramell cheese cake that was meant for a friend of my Dad's that I hated. Being annoying was quite normally fun, but tonight wasn't as fun as others had been. The food wasn't tasting good in my mouth. It wasn't just from eating an intire cake and getting bored of tasting caramell and cream (a/n i'm trying to make myself hungry cause i'm full but want to eat dinner) . I feel sick. My negative emotions had figured out how to make me sick. It's not fun.

Mind I hate you, you stupid moron, i'm hungry (no i'm not) I want to eat. stop torturing me, we can't get better if you act this way. and I still have that weird feeling, it should leave me alone, makes me feel like a car's going to smash into my room.

Now how did I fail to notice that my stories have taken a dark turn? my heart is becoming too evil.

When I arrived at school the next day, I had eyes all on me, for a reason that was at the moment completely unknown to me. And these looks were anything but nice. Such dirty looks came from them and not a single one was not directed at me. It had my curiosity, but I would rather stay by my melancholy self and not wander off into their world of lies, evil and stupidity.

But I was confronted by the lies of reason by a gang of tall blonde rabble. So my not wanting to know their useless rumors and the such was nothing but a thought this time. Such glares did I recieve from those flaming eyes, with a smirk just below.

What did they want with me, I had to wonder, but in all truths I could only think of something unintelligent to come from things such as the girls infront of me.

"So what do the rabble want with me now?" I asked in the most emptiest of tones, hiding any curiosity I had on the subject.

The leader of their little group's smirk widerened into one more sinister. It made her pretty face ugly, making her the same inside and out.

"Oh, i've just been thinking bout I little thing I heard, I was thinking how mean it is if it's true, so I want to know it from you? kay?" she asked me in that annoying high pitched voice of hers.

I tilted my head, curiosity raising on the subject that was still eluding me.

"What thing? and why I ask do you want me to correct you on it? what do I know of the trivities of your kind?"

That common sound of harsh laughter rang out, their moron response to my speaking common reaction, so I gave no response.

"Whatever freakaziod, why don't ya like, speak like normally for once, eh?" the laughter made it's appearance again.

"Why don't you speak in english for once?"

This time it was silence, so I had to make the first sound,

"Could you tell me what it is you wanted to know?"

They stayed silent for a moment longer, but then finally went on with what I believed would be more stupid drivel.

"Well, yesterday I got told that you, um what was it again?" she faked forgetting to be an annoyance,

"That you killed that Aerith girl" she emitted without a care on just how cruel the subject really was.

I feel like I just died, it felt like that had so many times in the past few weeks. How cruel, how could their minds conjure up something like that? who would be so evil enough to believe that I had such the lack of a soul that I might have been the one to take away someone so beautiful inside and out.

I didn't give a spoken reply to the girl that stood on front of me, I couldn't speak, my mouth was frozen, all of me was, my shock at a question like that, had made it impossible for me to move at all. I gave a distressed look, suddenly I couldn't stand infront of these people, they so strongly believed that I was a murderer. It was disgusting. I had to leave this moment.

Pushing past them knocking at least one over I ran down the hallway, dodging between the yelling teachers and the ever cheery laughing fellow students.

Outside I ran, looking for a place where the dirty looks wouldn't find me. I found refuge on the side of an old part of the school building long since deserted of use. Alone I could wallow in a sea of my own consuming misery. Why would I be blamed that it was me that took Aerie's life? Who could create such lies that tore my heart so?

Huddled in a mossy corner, with bricks at my back and mud as a seat, silence except the faraway sounds of vehicles and distant birds flying in the dejected emotion that had threatened my every waking minute to consume me, was winning. I was filled with a fear of myself, that made me want to puke, to destroy something, an outlet for my anger was needed before it became to much to bare. I had tried so hard to let this leave me, making my emotions disappear, but it wasn't something I could do from wishing. Wishes never did come true. All I had managed to do was create a lie that was evident only on the surface to show to the populace.

I didn't want to be in school anymore, I wanted a place where I didn't have people valuing me as they do everyday. But unlike so many that is just something that I do not have. But in all this I would go to the closest thing that such a place could be for me.

Jumping over the school fence, across the road, past the many streets where the eyes of curiosity watched me from a car making it's way along a dirty road. I traced my steps from my vague memory, from the time I had been their once before.

The gates of a cemetary was something always thought of as something scary, an entrance into a chilling hell filled with unsettling silence and fear of the unseen. But for me they were a sanctuary away from the lies and trivities life offered. The path I had taken not even a month before were still so clear in my mind. Without a sound, I sat down in front of her grave. Staring at the chunck of stone, with her name engraved, marking where her lifeless body lay rotting beneath the ground. It was so sad, depressing, I couldn't say it in words how I felt. A traumetising pain like this was never meant to have to be felt, there was no proper word to use. No matter how many words I put in, it would never show just how horrid this was.

Next to the grave of the only person I cared about, I cried out my tears, filled with anger, with sadness, with fear, with insecurities, I let it all out. She wouldn't have liked me to do this, she would have made me stand up to those who came up with such things, who were making my already dead life worse. They held no remorse for what they did, long ago they had made the decision to de-activate their brains. So they would have a chance to be popular, what a waste of people who could've been someone one. But in their minds, this is the most important time of your life, so you must enjoy it instead of wasting time on school work, being popular was what mattered, be that and your set for life, those geeks aren't going to be a thing, they'll be poor and we'll be filthy stinking rich. What an incorrect view that had ruined so many lifes.

Silly mind, you wandered off the subject, we're being sad remember? don't be silly, were not going to pay attention to them, they are nothing. so why am I here then?

I hadn't noticed how stupid I was being, until right 're just a humoungous group of idiots, who cares what they think. But I don't want to go back now, it may be sad and just a bit scary, but it's so calm here as well. And surely Aerith deserves my time more than them.

So for the rest of the afternoon, I disgarded all my worries, and chattered to someone that couldn't have heard me even if she had wanted to. But who knows, maybe she did hear it, maybe she was right there, she was the one that even momentarily, made me happy again. So there I sat, talking about all the fun childhood memories we shared together. Showing, that I didn't want to remember the horrors of her death, but the joys of her life.

The time went fast, and soon I had to leave her side, and return to a loveless home. And tomorrow I would have also return to a school that felt no positive feelings for me what so ever. But somehow I will survive this, god I hope I can make it through.

It was all the same, each and every day I was told it was my fault that Aerith was gone, it was getting worse. They were pushing me to breaking point, but I forced myself on, because in my heart I knew that was what Aerith would have wanted me to do. It still hurt, all the horrible words being cast at me from people I barely knew who knew even less about pain at losing my sweet friend was still there, but I wasn't letting those melancholy emotions pull me under, I refused to let them have their way. No matter how long I would have to under go this, I would keep fighting for the day I would be free of it's cold grasp.

The english teacher that everybody hated had taken a liking to me. I still didn't have all the reasons why people hated her so, I was aware of what the students main reasons were, but I couldn't really count them as a proper reason for anything. When I asked her why the teachers also had such a strong dislike for her, I got into this conversation, which didn't give much help on the subject.

...

"Miss, why don't the teachers like you, you're nice"

She gave it a thought then gave me the answer,

"Because i'm stupid?" she replied more in the tone of a question.

Now I didn't find her stupid, she was the smartest teacher I had had at this school, so I had to mention,

"No your not"

So she said another thing,

"Not that kind of stupid"

And then she left, with me being no clearer on the subject. So I left it alone knowing I wouldn't get the answer any time soon.

...

But at least she offered an hour salvation from the evils of the populace that would be quick to continue their game of hurting the feelings of the people that in no way deserved it. After two months, I was told by one of the few students that were not going around with those disgusting rumours that I was forcing myself to completly ignore, something that I had really wanted to hear. The man that had driven the truck that had hit the car,had been found, miles away with massive scratches along the length of it. He was being charged with drinking and driving, murder, and grand theft auto. The truck had not been his.

Anything on the subject of the crash was something that I wanted as far away from my mind as possible, but now I knew that the man was going to get what he deserved for his dumb, horrible act.

but then I learned of horrible,which in turn made me feel bad, because in a part, this was my fault, Zack hadn't been to school in a long time, I hadn't seen him since that time at the hospital, so I was wondering what had happened to him. Well I'd gotten that answer today. After Aerith's death he was in a bad state. It was worse than what I went going through, sure I'd been in so much pain, but I tried to get on with my life even though that pain was so unbareable. But he hadn't tried, he let those dejected, distraught, angry emotions consume him. The only good thing about him that I know was that he never let things get him down, he was always so happy and cheery. But this time he didn't bother to make the attempt to try and keep living without her. And his pain took him down into their shadows of horrors.

He had killed himself.

He'd felt like he was the one to blame, if he hadn't told her about the party, she wouldn't have been in the accident, she'd still be living. He said it was his fault, and I'd told him that he was right. God I hate myself.

It wasn't his fault, surely he must have known that inside. I was angry when I'd said that to him, I was hoping that he knew that too. I didn't want to blame myself for it, it was his choice after all, to end his own life. He really had loved Aerith, and I had never believed him. But he had so much that her death brought him down too. She would hate that, if I had seen him after that one last time, I would have told him that ending it would make Aerith hurt, if he really loved her he wouldn't have done it. But a wish is always just that, it doesn't come true.

His friends at school didn't care at all, they went on with their lives without a care that their friend was dead, heartless morons. One did care, he was in a state a lot like mine, suffering silently in the shadows. The 'kid' that Zack had mentioned at that night in the hospital, was who I think he was. Zack had said he was different from the rest of the lot, if this boy cared that his friend was dead unlike the rest, then he must have been different. I felt sad for him, even though I didn't really know a thing about him besides one friend. But he had a heart, something this generation was lacking.

One day when I came to school, I saw some other boys saying some harsh stuff he was undeservant of. One decided to go one step further and joke about how his only friend had commited suicide. Now this was the time when I decided that this person was truly heartless. I hadn't known that the boy had no other friends, Not like I had any other than Aerith, but at least I'd had people that would talk to me, but they've stoped because of the rumour that Aerie's death was my fault, they were scared of me now. My mind returned to focus on the harsh conversation going on down the hall, when I heard another thing that made me believe those boys were truly without hearts to feel. The kid was yelling at them now, the words he used took me by surprise.

"He was your friend too! why are you laughing about it?" He screamed at the retards, they gave nothing but a laugh in return, futher infuriating the boy.

"So?" Was the reply he got from them, I wanted to punch them, god knows what he was feeling. But he must have been apart of the small percentage that knows fighting won't get you anywhere. He stayed with his head down and fists clenched, not starting what would be a usuless attept to make them leave.

"Your insane you know that?" He spoke with anger, before trying to walk off. But they were being the average kind of annoying and didn't want to give him a break from his ongoing misery. They grabbed onto him but this time he gave the leader of the retard gang a kick, right where it would hurt him most. He used the time where the other boy was on the ground and the others whining about 'why the hell he do that' because their small minds were having to much trouble figuring out the problems with their own logics.

I gave a silent laugh to their acts of stupidity, and feeling good for the boy being able to get away from them, I think it would be nice to know him.

...

School was staying the same, inside I was getting worse, but I didn't let that show, on the outside no emotion rose to the surface. I was blank, but I couldn't care even if it was getting on the nerves of the other students, and a few teachers to that lot.

Everyday I visited Aerith's grave, her mum was there once, putting flowers on the grave, all different types of beautiful flowers in every colour. I'd said hello and asked how she was doing. She said she was alright, but I knew it wasn't all true, she wasn't good, but she was surviving. She had paid up all the hospital and funeral fees without much trouble. After all she only had to pay for herself and her kitten, Hana. Aeith had gotten her off Yuffie for her last birthday. Because Yuffie gave it to her she'd given it a Wutanese name, Hana meant flower.

Aerith's mum never wanted or needed much so money wasn't a problem for her, Hana didn't eat much even for a Cat, so adding her expenses didn't add much at all. She was lonely, but it was good that she had a little company.

There was always flowers on Aerith's grave, so one day I put down some when her mum couldn't come to put new ones on. Just two flowers, a white and a yellow lily. Aerith had always thought that they were really cute, they were favourite, she always had some in her room when I had gone over. Which made me wonder, I didn't think Her mum had done anything to her room, so did she still put new lilies in the vase on her shelf? I believed so.

It was a normal thing for me to sit down and 'talk' to Aerith in front of her grave, talking about fun times we'd had together and the small amount of good things that had happened. I was talking about how I had finally finished a story, A teacher that likes me asked if he could see it. And when I showed it to him he mentioned how he was friends with a publisher, and if I improved on some of the parts, He would take it to be published. So I could have a published story before I'd even finished High school!

It was someting much more happy then the usual things that happened to me. So I was very happy about it. I was stuck wondering about what people would think if they saw a young girl talking to a grave and smiling, I said that out loud, still acting like Aerith could hear me, not like it had been confirmed whether she could or not. I've never been even a little psycic, so if there was a spirit about, I sure wouldn't notice, and I must be surrounded by many right now, How many are watching me at the moment?

My mind was making up sounds I think, or I really did hear one or two because I could swear that I was hearing one have a conversation with another, looking around there was no other person around, well, living person.

The days kept passing me with the same thing going over and over in a rather annoying repeatetive pattern. At school I was getting bullied like all hell, but only with words, so they could be ignored, that other boy was getting it worse, people didn't care if a boy got hit, it's only a problem with a girl. I felt sorry for him, but he always left when I tried to get closer, so I still didn't know who he was. At nights I wrote on my new laptop, my computer finally died. I usually ate the food i'd stolen off Dad and his friends even though I would get in big trouble if they figured out it was me doing that, but not like I cared, never did. Dad was stupid, wish I didn't have to deal with yet another stupid person. I had gotten a job at a popular fast food restuarant. The money was alright, and because I didn't have to pay for anything, I have saved up a lot from it. Most days I go down and visit Aerie. Talking to her like usual, still with the feeling that someone was eavsdropping on me, but clearly no one was there.

One day I did have a surprise, Someone caught me 'talking' with her. I chose not to ask why He was there at first, because I was too embarassed to talk much. That boy had caught me, it was the first time i'd seen him up close, The first thing I noticed was that his hair was weirder than what i'd first thought, spikey was the only word I could think of, but that seemed like an understatement. It was weirder than Zacks hair, and his certainly wasn't very normal at all.

"What are you doing?" he asked curiously, But I was getting distracted by his hair and didn't reply right away.

"What are you doing?" he asked again, I was more aware he was talking now so I answered after he repeated himself.

"Talking" I answered.

He looked at the grave in front of where I was sitting, reading it I think, considering how he was looking.

"Aerith Gainsborough?"

I could see he knew the name, but I wouldn't think he knew her all that much,I doubt he had talked to her before, only hearing what she was like from Zack.

"She was Zack's girlfriend right?"

"Yeah, and my best friend" I added in.

"I sort of already guessed that, what's your name?"

Well if he had an idea who I was Zack had mentioned me but not my name.

"Tifa, Tifa Lockhart" I replied.

"Oh alright, I'm Cloud"

Cloud? now i'm starting to think there is something wrong with his parents.

"Do you have strange parents?" I inquired.

He looked at me for a second before giving a reply,

"Mum, my Dad's not in the picture" He sounded a little sad.

"Is he dead, or are your parents divorced?"

"I have no idea, Haven't gotten an answer to that yet"

That's harsh.

"I've only got my Dad, Mum died when I was three, she was really sick. I can't remember her very well."

"Really"

He sat on the ground next to me, which now I was wondering what people would think if they saw two teenagers talking together while in a grave yard. But I kept that thought to myself.

"Why are you here" " had to ask, it was bugging me.

"Huh?" He looked up from staring at the ground, "Why?"

Why did he have to be confused by that.

"Yeah, why are you here?" I repeated.

"Well, Zack's grave is near here" His voice was very sad, I felt bad for asking.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything" I got up to leave, but he stopped me,

"It's alright, I would have said it even you hadn't asked, it doesn't matter alright"

"Yeah but" I went silent for a second in thought "It's not nice to talk about things like that, it hurts when a friend dies"

He looked over at Aerie's grave, before speaking again,

"We both know what that's like eh?"

"Yeah" I nodded sadly.

...

We must have been talking for a long time, it was dark when we stoped, the time had flown right by us. The darkened cemetary was not a pleasant place to be in times like now, so we had to leave. We had trouble finding the exit, Some parts were covered in shadows. We did make it out of course. I wanted to talk to him more, so we decided at school the next day we would meet up.

I said goodbye and left heading home, his was in another direction.

I wasn't feeling bad that night, my stories weren't taking a dark turn as I was writing them. I had touched up the one that i'd finished, when my teacher found time he would get into contact with the publisher friends of his, so I had to wait to know the results of that. Tonight I was free to write whatever, so I had decided to finish off some couple of short stories i'd started awhile ago, but hadn't had a go to finish them. They were not sad or angry stories, so if i'd written them in my melancholy mood they wouldn't turn out as I had intended, and that would get on my nerves.

The next day I got talking to Cloud again, I was still having trouble accepting that his name was seriously Cloud. If I didn't know that he was different to those other idiots that surround me, I would wholeheartedly think he was making a stupid joke. His hair was also another weird thing that I couldn't get over, I had to ask about it. When I did he immediatly said that it was natural, after all if he had a choice it wouldn't be crazy like it was. He also said that Zack had had weird ass hair too, Which I confessed aways thought it looked like he had stuck a pocupine on his head (a/n sorry if I misspelt that, my laptop doesn't have spell check) He was about to laugh, but didn't, I was wondering if it was impossible for him to laugh or if he was still hurting and didn't want to for the time being.

People didn't go up to us much that day, stuck in a confusion over why WE were talking together, which in all honesty isn't a hard thing to figure out. It was good, having someone there, I hadn't had it since Aerith had died. Bullies didn't go up to people if they weren't alone as compared to the ones that are, so that was another good thing, it wasn't just from any confusion they were having. Talking to Cloud was nice, I liked not feeling so alone, it was helping me, and it was helping him too.

As time went on we weren't just talking at school, but at each others houses as well, My Dad had quickly gained a dislike of him, even if he didn't care that much about most things surrounding me, he was still my Dad, and Dads never like having a guy around their precious little girl. When Cloud was over he would constantly peer onto my room, and was usually greeted by the sight of me typing on the computer and Cloud laying on the floor, well technically on my clothes as they covered it and made the carpet invisible. Cloud's Mum didn't like me just as my Dad didn't like him. She was more trustworthy of us though, and only spied on us half the amount my Dad did. She knew Cloud much better than my dad knew me, lucky for him.

Things were getting better for us, even if that one time we went to the shopping centre together, while we were having lunch some kids from the popular crowd poured their drinks over us, Joking about how cute it was that the little murderers were together. which was incorrect in basically everyway. As neither of us had killed someone and we were also not going out, we were just friends, well maybe someday i'd like him that way, but not now that's for sure. Cloud went into a bad mood because of it, so I hit one of the girls with a hambuger, staining her designer clothes, how wonderfully delightful. Needless to say we got yelled at a lot, because even though they had done something practically the same, because we did something back, we're the bad ones, doesn't bully logic make perfect sense?

...

We were still just as hated, but things were no longer as bad as they once was. It was nearing graduation, so the time we had to go through any more of this pointless bullying was short. The time I spent with Cloud was always the best times of the day, we didn't have any one else but each other. We were fine with it being just us.

We made plans to leave this town full of idiots after graduation. My Dad was getting rediculously suspicious whether me and Cloud were just friends, but what kind of father wouldn't? I couldn't blame him for that. Cloud's Mum wasn't being as bad as he was, luckily, but we had the feeling that wouldn't last forever. They never got near as bad as other people, which we had the thought that they were getting stupider as time went on. The 'murderer' insult hadn't stopped, no surprise there, and neither had the slut insult ended, again, no surprise. Which now both were rather irrelogical when you thought about it. As we really were not murderers, they had just delusionised themselves into thinking so. Also I was no longer dressing like the other girls, I'd decided that the gothic style looked far better on me than the other type I was wearing, so I began wearing that instead. Oh the look on the girls face when I went in that store, she'd gone right up and told me that 'I don't think these are for you' Who was she to claim that? Then again in all rights she would think that, from judging a book by the cover who wouldn't? But to be honest wearing such clothes opened a whole new door for insults, but it would be true to say they were completely ignorable, as I no longer cared. I doubt that my bullies shall ever catch up to that fact.

...

One night a couple days before graduation I was sitting at my desk writing stories on my laptop which speakers had already decided to die, which would sound like the usual except that cloud was laying down on the ground talking to me, having a conversation that I was continuouly drowning out of.

I think now he was talking about the things he had heard the populars bragging about today, the stuff that they thought were cool was such an amazing amount of little nothings that ruin your future, to think, hearing someone bragging about how they, 'stole some dudes car' Or 'successfully finished some hard as hell game while high out of their mind'

How is any of that brag worthy? Hey I got one of my stories published and I'm still in highschool, yes my teacher finally got in touch with that publisher friend, and he happened to really like my story and it got published. Now that is brag worthy. It's actually popular, I can put some of that on how I used a pen name so nobody would know it was mine, I wanted to do that as a test to see if people would buy it if they didn't know I wrote it. I've seen heaps of girls around school reading it, even some boys. I've also been told that (by someone who knew I had a problem of writing too much) That I could never be as good as 'Alesha perilous' Note that that is the pen name I used. so I got told I could never write as good as myself, is basically what that person said. all I could do was roll my eyes, that was the dumbest thing i've heard said lately, and I'm surrounded by hoards of does that count as an acomplishment?

These morons idiotic acts are making my life fun, once upon a time they made it misery, but that was a long time ago. They had long lost the power to make me sad from the vicious things that came from those mouths of theirs.

"Are you still listening?" That brought me back to earth, to relise that Cloud was still talking, how long ago had my mind decided to block out all else but itself?

"Sorry, must've drowned out, what were we talking about again?" I turned in my chair to show that he did have my attention now, I was doing my best to sound aplogetic.

"If you keep on writing your bound to do that, get off the computer for a second" He got up and pulled me from my chair, lucky my Dad hadn't chosen to start watching us again, because I'd been so unsuspecting of Cloud pulling me up that A massive blush had erupted on my face.

"Hey what was that for" I half laughed, but in truth I had been kind of annoyed by it. I like writing.

"If you invite a friend over it's common to talk to them" He explained to me like a child, so in return I gave him a childish puppydog look, which didnt't do anything, and it made me start laughing, and then him.

"well, you were friends with Zack, someone with a problem with talking more than a sane amount"

"I don't think that makes sense" Now I thought about it, it didn't did it.

'A sane amount' of talking, something sounded screwed up there.

"You have a problem of writing more than a sane amount" He cut of the conversation, Before again laughing. True, I do write a lot, but not like it'd do people harm, talking to much could, but I didn't let that thought outside my head.

"Nothing wrong with writing, I've just really wanted to be an author. I can't figure out the words to use to say how happy I am that I have a published book, I'm so happy about it" I lowered my heard a small bit and smiled.

I lifted it back up when a question appeared in my head.

"Hey Cloud, what do you want to do, when you graduate?" He never said a thing about it anytime before, I was getting curious.

"I haven't really thought much...about it I mean"

I studied his face, that was true from what his expresion could tell me. He really didn't know.

"Well that doesn't matter" I started up "You can stay with me while my books become worldwide best sellers and I get filthy stinking rich, and laugh at the people that thought I'd be nothing at all, You don't need money"

He gave me the strangest look, which then I grinned, and he relised I was joking.

"That wasn't funny" yes I figured that out before it left my lips.

"It was never intended to be, I just wanted to say it"

We started laughing yet again, which so then my Dad began spying on us through the door again, which didn't help in the slightest.

I no longer was stuck in the depression that consumed me, I'd been saved by my friendship with Cloud, we'd saved each over. I was a much happier person now,the harsh calls from the nobodies of my school, were silent to me. I couldn't care what they thought of me, and never would again. The pain I'd gone through from the loss of the most important person to me, it was still there, it was never going to leave, I knew that and accepted it. But it didn't take me down and pull me into darkness, I refused to allow it. Aerith wouldn't want that. Cloud didn't let his problems do it to him either, Zack had been in a bad place when he'd died, but I knew he never wanted to cause such pain to the important people in his life. I didn't blame myself for what happened to him, because in the end, it was his choice.

The year passed, and graduation came and went, my teachers complained that I was leaving, they'd never had a student like me. They had really liked me, I was so different from the usual rabble they had to deal with. It was them only who felt sad about it, other students were celebreating, hearing that I was getting the hell away from this town just fueled their joy on the subject. Did I care about that at all? well i'm sure the answer was made obvious some time ago, well basically it goes like this, Hell no!

Me and Cloud got packing almost immediately, we wanted away, so thats what we were doing. My Dad Didn't want me going, I'd always be his little girl, he loved me dearly even if he'd never been very good at showing it. Clouds Mum had poured her eyes out, just like my dad she didn't want her Son to leave. Most every parent dreads the day their kid leaves home, it's sad, espeacially to the parents, they've always been we've you since they were a baby.

The day we'd chosen to leave snuck up do fast, I was exited, but yet I was scared. I'd grown up in this town, it was home no matter how bad it was. Leaving everything familar behind, to go to places new, it's wonderful, but all the same, it is terrifying.

I put the last suitcase in the car's boot. We had only one thing to do before we were gone. I hopped into the passengers seat, He got into the driver's, and we were off. We drove close to the edge of town, before taking one last stop. It was a windy day, my hair that usually creeped closer and closer to my waist was now whipping my face, a hand held it back best possible, the other holding down the bottom of my white dress.

First we stopped in front of Zacks grave, Cloud didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, He hadn't the chance the last time they'd seen each other, he would always regret that. After that, we went to my precious Aerie's. Kneeling down of the ground, I had to adjust my dress as I'd screwed it up. I wasn't sure what words were the ones I was suposed to be saying. It had to be something special, the chance I never came back here was always possible. I let tears fall freely down, my emotions were mixing up as I look upon the grave. After for what had felt eternity, words came to mind.

"Thank you" I smiled through my tears. I couldn't say goodbye, because she would never be truly gone, as long as I kept her in my heart, she would always be with me.

I rose up, with a final look, I smiled, bent back down, and placed down a bundle of white and yellow lilies in front of her grave stone. After another minute or so, I left with Cloud folowing silently beside me.

Back in the car, as we drove along, I could help but notice the kids attempting one last chance at making me sad, holding up a sign saying that we were murderers. why hadn't they figured it out? I didn't care. I rolled my eyes and rested my head on the window, with sunlight fllickering against my closed eyelids, I remembered something. Something that Aerie had told me, when my bullies were winning, I'd forgotting it,But now I remembered it, how happy it made me.

'Darling, you are you, nothing anyone can say will ever change that, as long as you know it, that's enough'

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><p><strong>did you have fun darlings? Yes it's just wonderful is it not? My laptop burned my lap while I was editing. some parts are better than others for I was having my daily dose of Evanesence, which makes my writing a hell of a lot better. <strong>

**Please review, I'm not trying to seem desperate, but sometimes I feel like this is all pointless because my stuff never gets noticed, it will help get me out of this evil mood.**


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